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What I Have Seen

看 见

柴静

What I Have Seen
by Chai jing

what have i seen

What I Have Seen is an autobiography of Chai Jing, a well-known reporter and host, telling about her 10-year experiences at CCTV. The book is Chai Jin's confession for her growth. It can also be regarded, to a certain extent, as a memorandum of the changes of Chinese society in the past ten years. Ten years ago, Chai suffers setback due to lack of experiences after she was selected and became a news anchor at the national television. She became a field reporter during the period of SARS. The cut skin feeling brought by the reality of life, contributes to her breaking away from the superficial and self-oriented restrictions. She obtains a more broad and deep understanding of life and humanity. During this 10 Years, Chai Jing appears at the scenes of almost all important events, such as: SARS, the Wenchuan earthquake, NPC & CPPCC sessions and Beijing Olympics ... She also participated in the production of rigid surveys and reports on events such as : storm of South China Tiger photos and the land acquisition. In the book, she records the moving details in the grand narratives, leaving her private footnotes for the era. As always, Chai Jing sees and records the individuals in the news who have given her a strong impression of life. Everyone is deeply embedded in the world. No one can be just a bystander, because everyone will experience what others have experienced. The people and things that have been recorded in the book are not only the lives of others, but also of yours and mine.

第八章我只是讨厌屈服

一九四六年,胡适在北大的演讲中说:“你们要争独立,不要争自由。”我初看不明白。他解释:“你们说要争自由,自由是针对外面束缚而言的,独立是你们自己的事,给你自由而不独立,仍是奴隶。独立要不盲从,不受欺骗,不依赖门户,不依赖别人,这就是独立的精神。”

……

采访郝劲松时,我问过他:“你以谁的名义在诉讼?”“公民。”“公民和普通百姓的概念区别是什么?”“能独立地表达自己的观点,却不傲慢,对政治表示服从,却不卑躬屈膝。能积极地参与国家的政策,看到弱者知道同情,看到邪恶知道愤怒,我认为他才算是一个真正的公民。”我问他最后一个问题:“你想要一个什么样的世界?”这个当时三十四岁的年轻人说:“我想要宪法赋予我的那个世界。”

Chinese Pinyin English
自由 zì yóu freedom
盲从 máng cóng follow blindly
公民 gōng mín citizen
公民 fú cóng obedience
宪法 xìan fă Constitution
Chinese Pinyin English
独立 dú lì independence
奴隶 nú lì slave
诉讼 sù sòng lawsuit
观点 guān diăn perspective
卑躬屈膝 bēi gōng qū xī groveling

第十七章无能的力量

“别人对我佩服的地方其实是我的无能,我无能争取利益,无能作判断,无能去策划目的,无能去要求别人,无法建立期待。也许有人以为那是超能,这个误会就造成了我现在的结果。还可以用另一种表:人类大部分的苦都是因为期待的存在。其实,在人生中不存在任何必须的事情,只存在不必要的期待。没有任何期待和面子的人生是最美好和自由的,因为这样,人才能听到自己的心。”

……

一句话,在这期叫《告别卢安克》的节目结尾我说,教育,是人与人之间,也是自己与自己之间发生的事,它永不停止,“就像一棵树摇动另一棵树,一朵云触碰另一朵云,一个灵魂唤醒另一个灵魂,只要这样的传递和唤醒不停止,我们就不会告别卢安克”。

Chinese Pinyin English
佩服 pèi fú admire
超能 chāo néng super power
唤醒 huàn xĭng awaken
Chinese Pinyin English
无能 wú néng incapable
期待 qī dài expectation
灵魂 líng hún soul